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Ready For Permanent Love

I was diagnosed when I was 22. I lived in my room and was on disability for 12 years, after being a publicist in the Silicon Valley for eight years. About two years ago I woke up and said "I want to go back to work!" Well it almost killed me. It was/is a professional job, I am currently a Document Revision Specialist for a chemicals firm and I create documents and revise them. I do documents and manuals for all departments. I am smart and capable but my energy cycles, it is so hard just to get to work I want to cry. Work has made my life is miserable. I can't handle working full-time, and under so much pressure, and I am so low energy after all that output, that I am going back on disability once I give my notice in December. I will convalesce for a month, I am sure, and then I do intend to get a part-time job.

You can imagine how hard it might be to find someone, but I would rather be alone than with the wrong person. And don't mistake me for weak or desperate. I am strong in spirit and I will not and I do not give myself to someone lightly.

I have such a high propensity to love. I may have said this elsewhere, but I think for me I have always wanted to work for a man I loved. Help him with his business, help him with the house, make dinners, make his lunch, do things that make ME happy.And that is by giving and take care of someone who really loves me. Being a slave out there -- oh, I wish I could (I would not be single, that I can tell you, I see the way men look at me), but in a way maybe there's a reason I am unable maintain the psychological stamina. I have bipolar 1, stabilized 6 years, no psychosis.

** I don't believe in signs so if I could slice that astrology part out of my profile I certainly would! Bothers me. It's like "Let me classify myself and stop it with the tomfoolery!" I am not that irritated, but kinda. Certain things I have learned to respect and other things to regard with utter disdain.

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EthnicityCaucasian / White
Eye ColorHazel
Hair ColorBrown
Hair LengthShoulder length
Best featureSmile
Body ArtNone
Health ConditionBipolar
My AttractivenessVery attractive


Relationship StatusDivorced
Has childrenNo children
Wants kidsNot sure
Housing SituationAll is calm
Living ArrangementsWith parent(s)
Wants to RelocateYes
Has a carYes

Education & Employment

EducationUniversity Bachelors
Job TitleGoing back on disability for bipolar.

Leisure & Fun

TV preferencesI don't like TV
Favorite movies typesI don't like movies
Favorite moviesI used to love the Goonies and Stand By Me, but from what I know about Hollywood coming from someone who has a cousin in the business, is that they are all paid whores.
Favorite artistsI feel the same way about music. One I heard Mick Jagger was on Epstein's plane, I ripped their albums off my walls. I will always love Def Leppard. I loved Steve Maynard Clark, in the way you love someone you don't know, it's a love of a persona.
Reading selectionAncient, Auto-biography, Health, Political, Poetry
Favorite booksThe Bible, Rasselas by Samuel Johnson, On Liberty by John Stuart Mill, From the Company of Shadows and Inside look at the CIA by Kevin Shipp, any book by Mark Dice, Vani Hari's The Food Babe, and lots of Francis Bacon's essays.
Idea of funBeing in the default mode network.
HobbiesExercising, Arts & Crafts, Reading, Family, Dining, Theater, Cooking, Gardening, Volunteering


DrinkingLight / social drinker
Social behaviorReserved
Friends describe asObscure
In High School I was a(n)Outcast
Sense of humorClever
My great timeStaying at home, Trying new things, Relaxing, Sleeping, Reading a book, Playing dress-up


Political viewsI don't like politics
Attend religious servicesNever
Goal in lifeTo live for Christ and try to be happy. I am not preacher/teacher. I HATE religion; I follow The Way, same as Apostle Paul. I only recognize The Spirit. I hate churches. I hate evil. Perhaps I have been really preoccupied for a reason. Perhaps I am the way I am for a reason.

If you don't believe in Christ, I am not the right woman for you.

Looking For

Must haveIntelligence, Good Looks, Humor, Sensitivity, Boldness, Oddities, Power, Thoughtfulness
Look for in a partnerHONESTY. Someone who thinks critically and who thinks for themselves and who doesn't follow all the lemmings off the cliff. A leader. Someone who knows how to love and live richly, and someone who understands what true wealth is.
On the first dateDinner somewhere quiet to talk.

Exercising Preferences

ExcercisesAerobics, Jogging, Spinning, Walking